Encouraging Education

You are a 40-year-old mother, living with your adolescent child who is bad at mathematics. One day, your child seems joyful after go back from school. When you ask her the reason, your child says, "mother, I've got 95% and rank the 4th in my maths exam!" You reply, [["Congratulations! I'm so proud of you. I saw how hard you worked, and your effort has really paid off."]] [["Don't be overly pleased with yourself just because of one exam result! You should stay humble and keep working hard in the future!"]]

Your child is happy. She finds that her efforts result in compliment and praise. Your response boosts her confidence and encourages her to work harder in maths in the future, because she knows that this would earn a good result. Then, your child asks, "mother, do you have any reply for me?" You reply, [["What do you want?"]] [["Your hard work is for your own future. Why should your mother give you a reward? Are you studying for your mother's future?"]] [["Mommy's gonna give you a hug."]]

Your child seems to be sad. Her lips curled in a soft sigh. She is questioning about whether her mother could see her efforts these days or not. Do these efforts really worth? She is sad due to that the sacrifice of leisure time only results in one exam result and her mother's blaming. Then, your child asks, "mother, do you have any reply for me?" You reply, [["What do you want?"]] [["Your hard work is for your own future. Why should your mother give you a reward? Are you studying for your mother's future?"]] [["Mommy's gonna give you a hug."]]

Your child says, "I want to watch movie!" You reply, [["Mommy could take you to watch movie as a reward for a good test result."]] [["Now you have to focus on studying and not watching movies. You have just got a good result once, and you can't be overly happy."]]

Entering Finale One Your child is frustrated. She is wondering why her mother always sounds tough. Why her mother cannot see her efforts? She considers that you love her only when she gets a good test result. Your relationship with your child alienates. Adolescence is a key phase in a child's life. It is a peirod where children mentally and physically grow into adults. A child may seems mentally fragile in this period, and the behaviors of parents really matter a lot! Be kinder to your child please, especially in this period. She will be working harder if she can see your supports.

Your child says, "mother, a hug is not enough! You hug me everyday! I want to watch movie." You reply, [["Mother will give you a hug, and take you to watch movie due to that you get a good test result this time."]] [["Mommy could give you a hug and also take you to the movies, but not because you did well in the exam. It is because you are happy due to your exam, and Mommy is happy when I see that you are happy, so we go to the movies together!"]]

Entering Finale 2 Your child realizes that you love her only when she gets a good test result. She is frustrated about that. After this conversation, she never spontaneously tells you anything about her maths exams, because she is disappointed about you. Maybe you should try to be more supportive to your child next time, but this is a good try!

Entering Finale 3 Congratulations! You really know how to support your kid during adolescence! Your child is really moved after this conversation. She realizes that the love and support from her mother is not due to exams, but due to their realtionship. The realtionship between you two gets closer. Congratulations!